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Once More with Feeling script book....a few comments -- Rufus, 00:13:33 12/03/02 Tue

http://www.atpobtvs.com/existentialscoobies/archives/nov01_p.html#34

Evaluating the Musical Numbers (SPOILERS for You Know What) -- Rufus, 00:12:25 11/09/01 Fri

I just loved "Going through the Motions" it made me think of Disneys "Little Mermaid" when Buffy is seen through the haze of dust singing alive I thought of the same type of scene with Ariel.

That Battle fellow is in a class of his own.....sorry....never heard of him before this show....bad Rufus....

Giles, I liked his voice best...with Tara a close second....but Anya really has me thinking she may be onto something with those Bunnies.....could it be revenge for all those lucky rabbits feet that have them trying to take over the world????

Mocking Disney (OMWF spoilers) -- Shiver, 11:04:40 11/07/01 Wed

Can we count how many times they made fun of Disney in OMWF? Spike's comment about puppet boy (Maybe one day he'll be a real boy). The opening number where Buffy gets backup from the demons in the graveyard and sings out "ALIVE" as the vamp bursts into dust - very disney-like. I only got to watch it once, so I know I'm missing more.

This also makes me believe that Joel Grey is never coming back as Doc, because why would you not bring him back in the musical if you were going to!

OnM said this........
Going Through The Motions

This is a masterful mix of all the traditional BtVS stylistic elements, all done in exquisite fashion with the added format of the musical actually enhancing it. Humor, wordplay, the ever-present darker undertones and dazzling camerawork and editing suggest that this is what Walt Disney might have come up with after spending a night at the Bates Motel. I especially loved when we get to see that the whole point of tonight's slayage is to free a handsome young man who was tied to a tree, apparently by the demons d'jour. Buffy dispassionately cuts the ropes securing him and then strides off without looking back, ignoring his obviously earnest (and probably carnal) desires to repay her for her valor.

"Something to Sing About"....excerpt from OMWF script book
The opening number, "Going Through the Motions," has the responsibility of setting the tone for the musical. Right at the start it needs to bring the audience seamlessly into the unique episode. Conveniently, it was the one number Joss Whedon had the clearest image of the start. "'Going through the Motions' was a pure Disney number. It was what Jeffery Katzenberg calls the "I want," which is where the heroine explains her problems like the song 'Part of Your World' in The Little Mermaid."

With the motivation behind the number set, he had no problem blocking out the scene. "By the time I shot it," he explains, "I already had every visual worked our perfectly in my head. I knew I wanted that last big powerful note to be like in 'Part of Your World,' where Ariel's face comes out out behind her hair. When Buffy sang the last note, I wanted her face to appear from behind a dusting vampire. It's both amusing and very emotional. Sarah never looked better. And then I knew I wanted to do the big pull back with the gently blowing vampire dust swirling into frame. Stuff like that is so easy."

How can you all tell I got my copy of the OMWF script book and had to read all the goodies. When I first saw the musical episode the first song was so Disney, and so Little Mermaid that I thought that was what Buffy was feeling at the time. Others went on to make comparisons to Beauty and the Beast....which I didn't really see for the Musical episode. What it was about was how Buffy felt being back in a world that she was having trouble feeling part of. It also set the stage for many of the things that went wrong for the characters the rest of the season. Also confirmation that the reference to "The Red Shoes" is correct though JW had never read the full story.

I think that in trying to tie Buffy and Spike together people tended to only look at Spike as a completed work instead of one in progress. In Little Mermaid the heroine lacks a soul, and that spark is what was needed to become part of the world her love inhabited. In the HC Anderson fairytale, the ending is not what the Little Mermaid wanted but she did get her chance to be a part of heaven. Spike's final decision to get a soul was because he understood that his lack of a soul made it impossible for him to be "part of" Buffy's world but will he like the Little Mermaid never obtain the love they changed so much for? The theme of season six, growing up fit everyone as all the characters were attempting to find a new place in the adult world and their screw ups while getting there.

If you want to know more about the musical buy the book, it has the shooting script, pictures, a few articles like the one I quoted part of, and sheet music......hell you could put on a Show to make the lack of Buffy bearable.
[> Speaking of OMwF...... -- Sebastian, 08:38:13 12/03/02 Tue

Hey everyone. Long time, no see.

Does anyone know of a reliable site for me to download some of the songs? I just recently changed jobs, and had to delete all the mp3s I had stored on my PC.

I went to you-know-who's site - but the mp3s are unavailable.

Any words of directions would be great. Thanks.

-Sebastian-
[> [> The official CD came out if you can't find a website. -- Rob, 09:59:32 12/03/02 Tue

The sound quality's a lot better, also...and plus, you get to hear the complete versions of "Under Your Spell," "Parking Ticket," and "Where Do We Go From Here?" which were trimmed in the show. Also a demo version of "Something to Sing About," with Joss and his wife singing. And score pieces from "Hush," "Restless," and "The Gift." Very worth buying.

Rob
[> [> About the OMwF commercial CD versus downloading the mp3s... -- ZachsMind, 10:20:06 12/03/02 Tue

When the official OMwF compact disc finally came out a couple months ago, most of the online places where you could download the mp3 versions of the songs dried up. You might still be able to do a search using kazaa's software or some gnutella p2p network and get them that way, but downloading them off the Web? You're probably out of luck.

I can personally vouch for the CD. I had made a homeburn version within a week after the episode first aired, but when the commercial version hit the stores I bought that instead, and comparatively the official version is an improvement. The dialogue's been removed, like when Dawnie melodramatically adds the corny phrase "the hardest thing in life is to live it" at the end of Buffy's "Life's A Show." There's also some nice instrumental pieces from other episodes that round out the CD (the piece from HUSH is really cool), and a 'behind the scenes' look of sorts, with Whedon's wife singing Buffy's part and I think that's Whedon himself doing Spike's part, which is really sweet.

I admit that I usually prefer making my own CD over buying commercial stuff, nowadays, because I like the control of making exactly what I want to hear in the order I want to hear it, but to be honest I really couldn't have improved much above the official soundtrack. I only wish it hadn't taken them a year to get it in the stores. I strongly recommend just buying a copy of the CD and saving yourself the trouble of downloading.
[> [> [> Seconding Rob and ZachsMind on the CD over the MP3's -- Deeva, 12:47:59 12/03/02 Tue

Get the CD! Besides it's a way for the people involved to see how much of a demand there is for this wonderful thing. They won't get rish off of it but it let's others know that there are fans put there who really do appreciate the work so much that they buy an audio version, of sorts, of a visual thing. I generally make copies of all the cd's I have and trade them with friends but this is the one thing that I really cared about where I made them buy copies instead of giving it out.
[> [> Re: Speaking more of OMwF...... -- Dedalus, 15:19:04 12/03/02 Tue

I have got to get Once More In Cyberspace submitted to Fictionary Corner one of these days!

Don't ask me where to download the music though ....
Interview with Buffy's Monster Creators-Zap2it article -- neaux, 04:20:46 12/03/02 Tue

Its a pretty good read.

Here
[> Monsters don't do it for me (spoilers for Never Leave Me) -- luna, 06:24:15 12/03/02 Tue

Not that I don't love them, but they never strike the note of horror that the unknown and unseen does. I found FE as Morphy Spike, or even worse Morphy Buffy, appearing unexpectedly, to be a lot more terrifying than the "real vampire" that's under the seal.

The scariest thing I remember reading about or seeing in a long time was in Anne Rice's The Witching Hour when the demon or familiar or whatever is just standing there, talking without moving his lips. Not creepy at all? But if you read a couple of pages, it is. But then eventually as he finally begins to appear, he's much less terrifying.

Same has been true for me with BtVS season 7--the intangible FE has been much creepier than any of the monsters.
[> [> Agreeing with you... -- KdS, 10:02:06 12/03/02 Tue

One minor problem with both ME series is that when you start humanising supernatural entities to the level that's been done, you gain character interest and moral ambiguity, but you lose the mystery.

One thing I would love to see before BtVS or AtS ends is a completely stand-alone episode where either the SG or AI stroll confidently into what they think is a routine haunting/demon infestation, encounter something that seems to be utterly alien to the universe, let alone the planet, survive by the skin of their teeth, and end up just looking at each other and going "What the **** was that?"

Something along the lines of M R James, H P Lovecraft or William Hope Hodgson's Carnacki stories.
Parallels between Spike and the Little Mermaid (Spoilers for Season 6) -- Rahael, 10:13:12 12/03/02 Tue

Okay, I have to be somewhere less, like five minutes a go, but I thought I would throw this out.

Rufus' post on OMWF reminded me of The Little Mermaid, and the parallels with Spike. I haven't read the story, and am going to do so when I eventually get home, but:

The mermaid's feet are painful to walk on, it feels like knives cutting into her feet with every step = Spike's chip/the pain the soul causes.

She turns herself into something else out of love = Spike gets a soul

Her love isn't returned = neither is Spike's.

The mermaid eventually sacrifices her life, quietly, for the sake of the Prince. She dies, unrequited, her love not returned, but she gains a soul.

I of course am referring to Hans Christian Anderson's story, not the Disney film.

More later!
[> lol! Don't take this wrong, but the image -- Deb, 10:20:00 12/03/02 Tue

that popped into my head cannot be bought with a credit card. It's priceless. Perhaps I'll laugh again soon.
[> [> hehe. Some people infantilise him, I just turn him into a Disney heroine! -- Rahael, 15:35:21 12/03/02 Tue

[> Try Spike/Pinocchio redemption similarities -- Pamela, 10:23:47 12/03/02 Tue

And at the end of it all...pinocchio's redemption is rewarded by the love of those he most desires, and the gift of being changed into a living human. (hmmm...sound familiar?)
[> [> You guys are scaring me.. -- ZachsMind, 10:27:48 12/03/02 Tue

Or comparing Anya to the wicked witch in Snow White:
"Mirror mirror on the wall, whose hairstyle is best of all?"
[> [> Yes, but I prefer the tragedy and heartbreak of LM! -- Rahael, 15:37:17 12/03/02 Tue

And as Deb pointed out, it's such a deliciously ridiculous image!
[> [> No,No, that's Angel/Pinocchio ;o) -- yabyumpan, 15:53:12 12/03/02 Tue

Cordelia even calls him that in TSILA. (HaHa, subverting a Spike thread with Angel, that makes a nice change!)
[> [> [> LOL! All threads *should* lead to Angel -- Rahael, 16:11:02 12/03/02 Tue

Well, all my threads soon will, once I get started on all these brand new (to me) Angel S3 eps I've so generously been given!

Yeah, Angel is the one promised the humanity at the end.

btw, didn't Pinnochio's father end up in a whale in the deep of an ocean? Of course that would make Angel Gepetto and Pinnochio all at once! These fairy tale analogies are an inexact business.
[> [> [> [> Don't you mean season 4? -- Masq, 16:15:26 12/04/02 Wed

Angel: some day he'll be a real boy.
[> Re: Parallels between Spike and the Little Mermaid (Spoilers for Season 7) -- ponygirl, 10:43:55 12/03/02 Tue

There's also the Little Mermaid's loss of her voice. There have been a number of instances this year where Spike is silent, or unheard by the audience, or just plain making no sense. Since he has always had a reputation of a teller of truths, and one of his primary attributes is his snarky insight, his relative silence this year has been a major loss.
[> "An Immortal Soul" -- Rahael, 16:04:48 12/03/02 Tue

Here are some selected quotes from the story.

The link to the whole thing (it's quite short) is http://hca.gilead.org.il/li_merma.html

"If human beings are not drowned," asked the little mermaid, "can they live forever? do they never die as we do here in the sea?"

"Yes," replied the old lady, "they must also die, and their term of life is even shorter than ours. We sometimes live to three hundred years, but when we cease to exist here we only become the foam on the surface of the water, and we have not even a grave down here of those we love. We have not immortal souls, we shall never live again; but, like the green sea-weed, when once it has been cut off, we can never flourish more. Human beings, on the contrary, have a soul which lives forever, lives after the body has been turned to dust. It rises up through the clear, pure air beyond the glittering stars. As we rise out of the water, and behold all the land of the earth, so do they rise to unknown and glorious regions which we shall never see."

"I know what you want," said the sea witch; "it is very stupid of you, but you shall have your way, and it will bring you to sorrow, my pretty princess. You want to get rid of your fish's tail, and to have two supports instead of it, like human beings on earth, so that the young prince may fall in love with you, and that you may have an immortal soul."

You will still have the same floating gracefulness of movement, and no dancer will ever tread so lightly; but at every step you take it will feel as if you were treading upon sharp knives, and that the blood must flow. If you will bear all this, I will help you."

"Yes, I will," said the little princess in a trembling voice, as she thought of the prince and the immortal soul.

Well, the prince doesn't fall in love with her. He doesn't remember quite who rescued him from drowning, and falls in love with someone else, erroneously believing that she had saved him. The little Mermaid cannot speak to let him know of his mistake. Her sisters offer her an alternative:

"We have given our hair to the witch," said they, "to obtain help for you, that you may not die to-night. She has given us a knife: here it is, see it is very sharp. Before the sun rises you must plunge it into the heart of the prince; when the warm blood falls upon your feet they will grow together again, and form into a fish's tail, and you will be once more a mermaid, and return to us to live out your three hundred years before you die and change into the salt sea foam

Okay, so the whole knives, killing your loved one and warm blood on feet is straight from the tower in the Gift but still! She goes to the sea cave to see a witch who gives her a chance at a soul, and at love. So she won't turn into nothingness and foam when her long life ends, but become human, gain a soul, and live a short but love filled life.

At the end of the story, she dies, but is given a chance to eventually gain an immortal soul after 300 years of working at it.

(Well may you laugh. But I'll point out that when I posted a spoiler spec before OMWF aired saying there were strong parallels with the Red Shoes, only one person replied - Thank you, Kerri!)
[> [> Re: -- aliera, 19:41:42 12/03/02 Tue

Can't resist...no discipline!


Science has not yet entirely explained away the mermaid who, like the Loch Ness Monster, still lurks on the borders of credibility. As long as parts of the world's oceans remain a mystery no doubt people will continue to believe in the existence of hidden submarine beings. Reported mermaid sightings while much diminished still occur, and the remoter regions of Scotland, traditional haunt of the mer-folk, have supplied several twentieth-century eye-witness accounts testified to with much apparent sincerity.
In an attempt to rationalize such sightings, science has produced a sea mammal theory reliant on the possible confusion between the mermaid and a surfacing sea cow or basking seal. As the explanation goes, sailors long at sea were so desperate for the company of women that their minds tricked them into seeing beautiful mermaids, curiously spying on their ships from the waves. A lively imagination would be required for such misidentification at closer range, however; particularly in the case of the two favorite sea cow contenders, the dugong and manatee...A chance meeting between a dugong and a mermaid demonstrates the unlikelihood of mistaking one for the other.
- Beatrice Phillpotts


A mermaid found a swimming lad,
Picked him for her own,
Pressed her body to his body,
Laughed; and plunging down
Forgot in cruel happiness
That even lovers drown.
- W.B. Yeats


http://www.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Cheek/Narrative/psych.html
[> Dru's Line about "burning baby fish" swimming round Spikes head makes more sense now..;) -- Rufus, 16:35:45 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> Re: Dru's Line about "burning baby fish" swimming round Spikes head makes more sense now..;) -- Deb, 18:39:32 12/03/02 Tue

I've always, well not always literally, have wondered what she meant by that. I see little tiny goldfish in flames swimming all around his head. Fish and vampires both die in the air of sunlight (fish also die at night). But, then again, there is the "fishfry"
[> Re: Parallels between Spike and the Little Mermaid (Spoilers for Season 6) -- shadowkat, 19:20:13 12/03/02 Tue

Well, don't know if this will make you feel better, but a friend of mine has been threatening to post a essay on how Spike parallels the Little Mermaid since the middle of last year. I'm wondering if the two of you may have discussed this in chat? ;-) (the coincidence is just too meaningful for words.) She spends more time in chat than on the board.

I see the parallel. Except Spike unlike the Little Mermaid is or rather was human once. So I also see a Snow Queen reference.

The little boy who gets cursed and seduced by the evil maiden and gets a splinter of evil in his eye, losing his soul or having his soul which connects him to the world suppressed.

We could of course combine the two fairy tales - and come up with the tale of the boy who is cursed, while cursed does evil acts, falls in love, gains a soul, but the curse still binds him to the evil, and he must fight to overcome the curse to become better man? Sort of the Snow Queen meets the Little Mermaid meets Pinnocho.

The concept of the cursed one being forced to do evil acts/transform into a monster/or do things against their will under a spell or trigger is one that is found in so many myths and stories, it's hard to count.
And my brain is drawing a blank on some of my favorites.

(To be honest? I saw Anya as a more direct parallel to the Little Mermaid - with all the under-the-sea wedding attire last year and her tendency to wear sea-shells as necklaces in Season 6. Not to mention the beautiful singing voice. and how she grants wishes through a pendant. Also her desire to marry the prince - Xander. And how she risks her life to save Xander in The Gift? Also Hallie as the sister who comes to whisk her back to the family fold? And the D'Hoffryn as the merking as well as the evil witch? But hey, Spike works just as well.)
[> Re: fun! -- aliera, 19:31:18 12/03/02 Tue

Thanks...this led down some interesting paths. Did you know that Christopher Vogler consulted on the script?

Ariel:

Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
- The Tempest

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water and back.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

- T.S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"




"The Water-Nymph"

In lakeside leafy groves a friar
Escaped the world; out there he passed
His summer days in constant prayer,
Deep studies and eternal fast.
Already with a humble shovel
The elder dug himself a grave;
And calling saints to bless his hovel,
Death, nothing other, did he crave.


"You must not think of that," said the old woman; "we feel ourselves to be much happier and much better off than human beings."

"So I shall die," said the little mermaid, "and as the
foam of the sea I shall be driven about never again to hear
the music of the waves, or to see the pretty flowers nor the
red sun. Is there anything I can do to win an immortal soul?"

"I know what you want," said the sea witch; "it is very
stupid of you, but you shall have your way, and it will bring you to sorrow, my pretty princess. You want to get rid of your fish's tail, and to have two supports instead of it, like human beings on earth, so that the young prince may fall in love with you, and that you may have an immortal soul."


"But if you take away my voice," said the little mermaid, "what is left for me?"

"Your beautiful form, your graceful walk, and your
expressive eyes; surely with these you can enchain a man's
heart. Well, have you lost your courage? Put out your little
tongue that I may cut it off as my payment; then you shall
have the powerful draught."

"It shall be," said the little mermaid.

lastly,

"Among the daughters of the air," answered one of them. "A mermaid has not an immortal soul, nor can she obtain one unless she wins the love of a human being. On the power of another hangs her eternal destiny. "
--the Little Mermaid


whoops...hope that's not the case for Spike!
;-)
you people are sick -- bob, 11:35:46 12/03/02 Tue

you people make me sick how could you get soo hyped over a stupid little show
[> Cool! It's been a while since a troll came by! -- ponygirl who is desperate to avoid work, 11:48:14 12/03/02 Tue

Here troll... c'mere boy/girl, we won't hurt you. Much.
[> [> No!!! ponygirl, stay away from the hyena cage!!! -- Darby, 12:02:30 12/03/02 Tue

...You never know what kind of evil energies they might be carrying...nasty diseases...mind-deadening dullness...

Hehe...hehehehe...hehehehehe - ackkk!

Anyone know what condiment goes with a pork and principal sandwich?
[> [> [> A lovely brown mustard is always a good thing. -- Deeva, 12:36:34 12/03/02 Tue

Especially if it's Porter's Spicy Brown mustard. I think it's actually made with a bit of beer in it. Yum.
[> [> [> [> or a mustard/horseradish blend works nicely as well. *NT* -- Whisper2AScream, 13:20:44 12/03/02 Tue


[> [> [> [> [> Re: But you should add some mayo to really froth it up! -- Brian, 13:44:43 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> Whisper, is that you? Long time no see! -- Masquerade, 16:16:42 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> [> Yep, hiya! :) -- Whisper2AScream, 16:19:15 12/03/02 Tue

Been a while, and I only recently caught up on the current season. How ya been? Glad to see a familiar face around here. Kind of felt a little like when I went back to the Bronze posting board after a long hiatus.
[> [> [> Personally, I like Wormwood. -- Honorificus (The Decadent and Devious), 14:02:59 12/03/02 Tue

Works well with any of the more tender meats.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen my meat tenderizer? Trolls are so tough, but if you pound them hard enough, you can make the loveliest kebobs.
[> [> [> [> Try asking Sophmorica -- devilish, feeling very Gourmet Goddess at the moment, 14:10:41 12/03/02 Tue

She seems to have an oral fixation and may have "borrowed" it .

Kebobs? I've had much luck with a simple marinade then deep frying the suckers.
[> [> [> [> [> Try parboiling first. -- Sophomorica, who does NOT chew on hard metal objects, 18:22:37 12/03/02 Tue

Maybe LittleBit has it stashed away with my halberd.
[> [> [> While you're discussing condiments, he got away ! (NT) -- luna, 18:10:24 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> I like Arby's Horsey Sauce. Clears the sinuses, and sends a shiver down the spine -- Deb, 18:14:32 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> Hey! Deb's back!! -- Wisewoman, 19:14:15 12/03/02 Tue

Welcome back! Glad you didn't stay away too long...

dub ;o)
[> [> [> [> [> This place grows on you ; ) -- DEb, 19:18:52 12/03/02 Tue

[> Why waste a perfectly good thread? Who's up for a Haiku game? -- Rob, 12:04:34 12/03/02 Tue

Arising swiftly,
then swiftly cut down; the choice
was his all along.


Name the episode!

Rob
[> [> Me, me! -- Arethusa, 12:19:36 12/03/02 Tue

Lie To Me


Here's an easy one. Hope I do this right.

The smell of sulpher
She wears on her dress. We know
Why it was blinded.
[> [> [> Ok I'll bite -- Deeva, 12:38:41 12/03/02 Tue

I don't know why though, I'm better at coming up with the haikus than solving them.

Is it...Prophecy Girl?
[> [> [> [> You are not a winner, please try again ;) -- Arethusa, 13:31:15 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> Re: guess -- Brian, 13:47:24 12/03/02 Tue

Amends, perhaps?
[> [> [> Ok how about... -- deeva, 13:48:10 12/03/02 Tue

Same Time, Same Place
[> [> [> You're right! -- Rob, 14:00:45 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> Um... -- Rob, 14:03:34 12/03/02 Tue

Helpless?

Rob
[> [> [> Re: Me, me! -- Rook, 16:23:35 12/03/02 Tue

I Only Have Eyes for you?
[> [> [> Second Clue -- Arethusa, 17:20:33 12/03/02 Tue

Duty calls her far
From her ersatz family.
A single mother after all.
[> [> Someone mention haiku? -- ZachsMind, 13:20:05 12/03/02 Tue

they will be here soon.
..just lying there. They might SEE
better fix her skirt.
[> [> [> Re: Someone mention haiku? -- Arethusa, 13:33:01 12/03/02 Tue

The Body
[> [> [> [> Re: I haiku, you haiku, we all haiku -- Brian, 13:58:26 12/03/02 Tue

Surprise in a "vault"
Not ever a construction fault
Broken spells default.
[> [> [> [> [> How do I haiku? Let me count the ways... -- Deeva, 14:02:23 12/03/02 Tue

Is it Lessons?
[> [> [> [> [> [> Re: How do I haiku? Let me count the ways...Yes, you get the gold ring -- Brian, 19:29:20 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Yay me! -- deeva, 22:30:23 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> I'm game for the haiku -- Deeva, 14:05:33 12/03/02 Tue

Here's my humble contribution to the waste-not thread.

It's all about her
Poor boy doesn't know what's up
A push for love
[> [> Haikus for dummies -- Tchaikovsky, 14:40:13 12/03/02 Tue

Syllables: first five
Then there's seven- egregious!
Now five again- done.

Or...

One two three four five
One two three four five six sev-
-en. Oops. Never mind.

And finally- seriously

A near-dying church
Is killed by the recruitment
Of dying singers.

May I thank Rob for the reasurrance that nothing is wasted in Voyland. And thanks Bob for starting it all off. Without your insights and courtesy- this board would not be half the fun it is.

TCH
[> [> Oh, what the hell, might as well put it here . . . -- d'Herblay, 17:24:26 12/03/02 Tue

Back in May, an occasional (and occasionally-missed) poster named Jane's Addiction made the comment,

As for Spike, I thought his little moment was perfect. Another example of ME taking our preconceived notions and turning them on their heads. I am a little concerned about the possibility of an "all haiku episode" featuring William the Bloody Awful Poet. But that's just me...

I immediately sensed a challenge. As some of you know, it has long been my dream to fake a shooting script and have it accepted as legitimate spoilers by Rufus and her ilk. However, I had another project at the time, and counting syllables on my fingers is annoying, and before I knew it there were actual spoilers, and I never got more than seven pages into it, and so we are spared the sight of Buffy and Spike defeating the evil demon Senryu with the power of the clerihew.

I know that now there are people here -- HonorH, cjl, ZachsMind (eight hours?!?! There some magic methamphetamine floating around???) -- who would be able to fake a shooting script with much more skill, grace and panache than I could, but I do bring some HTML undercraft to the table. Anyway, enjoy!

Once Less, With Haikus

September 24, 2002 (White)

Written by: Joss Whedon

Directed by: Joss Whedon
Teaser

FADE UP on . . .

BUFFY'S FACE

Disgusted, disturbed.

BUFFY
That's just so awful.
What those do to a body--
it's just inhuman.


CAMERA PULLS BACK to . . .

INT. DOUBLEMEAT PALACE - NIGHT

Buffy stands behind the register and stares at an obese customer. She continues.

BUFFY
Empty calories,
grease and saturated fats.
You want fries with that?

CUSTOMER
And a biggie shake.
Can you super-size that, please?
I'm pretty hungry.

BUFFY
Have you tried tofu?
They're doing wonderful things
with bean curd these days.


LORRAINE, HER MANAGER looks on.

BUFFY
Fried morbidity.
Death in a brown paper bag.
Comes to six-eighteen.


As the slightly disgruntled customer pays and leaves, Lorraine taps Buffy's shoulder.

LORRAINE
Buffy, you seem ill.
Your attitude needs some work.
Take the evening off.

TIME CUT:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETARY - DAY FOR NIGHT

Buffy strolls through the cemetery, almost skipping.

BUFFY
Crypts, mausoleums,
freshly buried carcasses.
Here I feel at home.


She is being WATCHED.

BUFFY
Though a little bored.
I need a little action.
Come on, vampires!


As if summoned, a vampire steps in front of her. Nasty looking thing, too. He approaches menacingly.

VAMPIRE
Nubile, tasty,
perky morsel of blonde youth.
I hunger for you.

BUFFY
Creature of the night,
allow me to say hello.
I'm Buffy - you're dust.


She pulls a STAKE from her pocket. The vampire, conciliatory, takes a few steps back.

VAMPIRE
Let's not be hasty.
I didn't mean anything
with that "morsel" thing.

BUFFY
You're a vampire.
You have to put up a fight.
It's in your nature.

VAMPIRE
Is "nature" the word?
I'm pretty unnatural.
"Supernatural"?


Buffy feints. The vampire spins away from the stake, raises his hands and backs away.

VAMPIRE
Don't get too anxious.
I didn't recognize you.
I'll be on my way.

BUFFY
You've got to fight me!
Let me have a do-over.
Here's my jugular . . .

VAMPIRE
I won't fall for that.
You're the slayer. I get that.
I'm leaving town now.


He skedaddles. Buffy, disappointed, continues her patrol.

BUFFY
Don't they ever fight?
How can I ever slay such
wimpy vampires?


She passes a large mausoleum, shrouded in shadow.

BUFFY
That's their big problem.
Vampires talk a good game.
Then they just leave town.


She continues home. The camera stays with the SHADOW. After she is gone, SPIKE steps into view.

SPIKE
Some of us return,
looking for what we deserve.
Miss me, bitch? I'm back.

BLACK OUT.



END OF TEASER
Act One

INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY

The Magic Box is still closed for remodeling. Xander works building shelves behind the counter. Giles and Willow sit at the table, trying to concentrate despite the hammering. Giles holds up a sprig of an herb.

GILES
Concentrate, Willow.
We must focus your knowledge
for the greater good.

WILLOW
It's Pierson's lampblack.
It promotes healing and calm.
Me destroy world now.


Startled, Giles slips the herb beneath the table.

WILLOW
Giles, I'm kidding.
I'm with the Glinda goodness.
Sheesh, don't you trust me?

GILES
Um, well, in fact, no.
The coven has decided:
you'll keep some powers.

WILLOW
Gotta love Wicca.
They have a greater wisdom,
forged in nature's . . . forge.

GILES
I am less sanguine.
What you did was, to my mind,
unconscionable.


Xander approaches.

XANDER
Jeez, cut her a break.
No more apocalypses,
right, Willow? Willow?


Willow seems to think about it. An uncomfortable silence follows, finally broken by the CHIME of the door as Buffy and Dawn enter.

BUFFY
Hey guys, how goes it?
How's remedial magic?
St. John's Wort come up?

XANDER
Just the usual.
Name this herb. Don't kill people.
Here's another herb.

GILES
This is serious.
Lives hang in the balance of
Willow's studying.


Dawn sits down next to Willow. She picks up a leaf and plays with it.

BUFFY
Sounds just like bio.
I hated bio so much I
(reflective)
I killed the teacher.

XANDER
Killed the substitute.
Let's not exaggerate things.
You're Dawn's role model.

WILLOW
Enough about me.
I've heard it all already.
How was patrolling?

BUFFY
The same old same old.
I find vampire, he runs.
It's getting boring.

GILES
I would expect that.
Seven apocalypses.
Nothing less will do.

BUFFY
I need a big bad.
I'm getting listless and blah.
I want a tough fight.

DAWN
Guys, have you noticed?
We're all speaking in haikus.
Has to be evil, right?


All look at her. Sudden realization hits them.

XANDER
I thought I felt strange.
Suddenly I'm a poet,
and didn't know it.

GILES
Hardly true haikus.
It's just counting syllables.
No integrity.

XANDER
Are they all haikus?
Let's see, there once was a man
from Nantucket, whose . . .

BUFFY
(interrupting)
I think they're haikus.
But are they really evil?
I kind of like them.

GILES
It seems occultish.
Mystical poetry urge.
Bears looking into.

DAWN
Let's get on it then.
I'll go through the library.
Wil can check the web.

WILLOW
What about Anya?
This seems vengeancy to me.
That girl is evil.

XANDER
Some revenge this is.
Who would wish up some haikus?
Not your common curse.


All look at BUFFY.

BUFFY
I said I like them.
Not that I want nothing else.
Where is Anya now?

XANDER
She's avoiding me.
I gave her a sweetheart deal.
Still not her sweetheart.

WILLOW
I slipped up just once.
She's a demon through and through.
She's up to something.


CUT TO:

INT. WILLY'S PLACE - DAY

ANYA sits at the bar, gazing idly into her drink. Willy, the bartender, approaches her. He refreshes her drink.

WILLY
This one's on the house.
And if you feel like dancing,
you'll drink free all night.

ANYA
Thanks, but I'm o.k.
Your offer does not intrigue.
Plus, there's no dance floor here.

WILLY
But lots of tables.
A pretty girl like you are
can make lots in tips.


Anya seems less than interested in the proposition. She nurses her drink.

WILLY
So, what's your story?
You don't have to drink alone.
Willy's listening.

ANYA
Failed as a demon.
Then I failed as a human.
Failed as demon again.


A customer enters from the back and sits at the other end of the bar. Willy goes to him, as we stay on Anya.

WILLY (off-screen)
So, what'll you have?
Just your usual Guinness?
Or the other stuff.


Recognition dawns over Anya's face as she hears . . .

SPIKE (off-screen)
A pint and a pint.
Make sure it's O-positive.
Not that cheap A-neg.


Anya turns to him.


[> [> [> The things that bring one (me, that is) back into the fold...nicely done dH! -- A8, 17:48:31 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> wow. -- deeva, 22:23:56 12/03/02 Tue

You've put us all to shame! I just do the quick l'il haikus and here you throw down this...weirdly amazing piece. Makes me want to hang my quill up in shame. Well, at least for a few brief moments it did. But I still like it very much.
[> [> [> More, More, More! -- Haecceity, 22:39:05 12/03/02 Tue

Amazing! I
Can't believe how fantastic
this is. Where's the rest?

It just wouldn't be
Fair to leave us all begging
for more, would it now?
[> [> [> Love this. Glad you finally let it see the light of day -- Rahael, 04:37:11 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> [> Re: Oh, what the hell, might as well put it here . . . -- Arethusa, 06:36:17 12/04/02 Wed

Haikus are better
Than slaying a foolish troll.
Thanks for your sharp wit.
[> [> [> Bravo! -- ponygirl, 07:15:38 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> [> Gee, D'Herb, you didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, didja? -- cjl, 08:32:50 12/04/02 Wed

It's a plague. It's a
nightmare. (No, it's a nightmare
about a plague.) Well done!
[> [> episode? -- anom, 21:45:21 12/03/02 Tue

This is so far down the thread, I'd better quote the original:

"Arising swiftly,
then swiftly cut down; the choice
was his all along.

Name the episode!"

Episode? I thought you were talking about the troll!
[> [> stolen from Callahan's -- Vickie, 22:03:42 12/03/02 Tue

There was a man from some-
where, who once did something in
another verse form.
[> Lurker arriving too late to mock a drowning troll -- pr10n, 16:09:05 12/03/02 Tue

I don't mind you all finishing the juicy troll niblets and moving on to poetry, but not even leaving a bone for me to crack -- I'm a little hurt.

[I suspect the Demon!Selves but I'm not going to point fingers. They're so easily bitten off!]
[> [> Hmmm... I think there's still a drumstick left. *NT* -- Whisper2AScream, 16:20:55 12/03/02 Tue

*NT*
[> I De-Lurk to join the game (my first haiku-so be nice) -- A8, 16:55:29 12/03/02 Tue

Let me try one (I think it's a pretty easy clue though):

Who shall I be now?
Saintly label plain, new truth
Worldly weight dispels
[> [> Wild guess -- Arethusa, 17:23:30 12/03/02 Tue

Tomorrow?
[> [> [> And I thought I was being too obvious. Try again.;-) -- A8, 17:35:46 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> Time? Yesterday? -- Deb, 18:25:04 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> And you have been just where, Mr. A8? -- Wisewoman, 19:13:09 12/03/02 Tue

Haven't seen hide nor hair of you in months!! Glad you're still around, even if we don't hear from you often.

dub ;o)
[> [> [> You know how it is Dearest Dub--some spirits tend to drift in and drift out. -- A8, 17:39:28 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> Is it... -- Rob, 22:14:15 12/03/02 Tue

...Tabula Rasa?

My next choice would be "Weight of the World,' but I thought that might be too obvious.

Rob
[> [> [> Rob's a winner! If you hadn't got it, my next clue would've been... -- A8, 17:25:01 12/04/02 Wed

Pledged to love, "no more"
Could not resist, went too far
With flame broke promise
[> [> can I play? -- Helen, 01:02:19 12/04/02 Wed

So behind over on this side of the Atlantic, bet you're all asleep now.

Is it the Gift?
[> [> [> Darn it, I've missed the troll and the game! Why can't you all stay up till 3am to play with me? -- Helen, 04:31:22 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> [> Don't worry about the lag time, just play, play play! -- A8, 17:28:18 12/04/02 Wed

Why don't you drop a haiku clue for us to guess? Turn the (time) table on us.
[> [> [> [> Not very clued up on structure of haiku - wouldn't embarrass myself by trying! -- Helen, 00:44:01 12/05/02 Thu

[> The Devil Beast has encountered a troll! -- Majin Gojira, 05:25:25 12/04/02 Wed

Wow! This is actually the first troll I've incountered 'on-time'! and what a smart one at that! (i wish I could post pics here, I have a few great anti-troll ones)


Spoiler's for 7.2 rerun. -- Deb, 19:36:00 12/03/02 Tue

Ok, I might be slow on the uptake at times but watching "Name of Episode" after the passage of time found me hearing and seeing all the stuff I missed the first 6 or 7 viewings. [Spike takes a field trip out of the basement and visits a church]

The dog that becomes an appetizer is a Yorkshire Terrier. Spike says "Poor Yorkie" before running off to the church. William is from Yorkshire; he is a Yorkie too.

I'm not sure why this next thing bothered me. Continuity?
Anyway. Spike is in the basement, again, and he's talking to that rat (the BB??). There's the earthquake. I know we are supposed to understand it is the giant worm demon, but right after Spike screams for the earthquake to stop, Buffy is then seen upstairs and no one is mentioning anything about an earthquake. The earth doesn't move again until poor Yorkie gets eaten. Was this quake part of Spike's conditioning?

Saw errors too. I hate it when I begin to see the "goofs."

Most impressively though, now that I know how many people are residing in Spike's head, it's really cool and creepy to watch the different "personalities" jump in and out. Great acting.

Good night all.
[> Rockie gets eaten, not Yorkie, likewise he says, "poor Rockie" -- alcibiades, 20:46:17 12/03/02 Tue

[> Re: Spoiler's for 7.2 rerun. -- Tess, 22:16:48 12/03/02 Tue

""Most impressively though, now that I know how many people are residing in Spike's head, it's really cool and creepy to watch the different "personalities" jump in and out. Great acting.""

I too seemed to be able to make sense out of some of Spike's madness this eposiode, since having seen Sleeper/NLM. After stabbing the worm ex-boyfriend, Spike went crazy again and yelled into thin air "Stop Shouting!" I'm assuming that was the FE he yelled at. So any ideas on why the first evil would have been shouting at him?

Also the reference to all the people in his head "Me, him, it...the thing beneath you." First time around I assumed the thing was the FE but now it seemed more like it would have been Spike's demon because he seemed to emphasize that it was beneath Buffy which is something Buffy was always throwing at him. Of course all of you probably figured that out the first time around.

I don't think the rat was the FE, I think that was his dinner. Kinda like when Angel lived in the streets and fed off a rat a month, or at least according to Whistler he did.

It did seem like Spike might know more about what the FE is planning then he remembers knowing, based on some of his ramblings. It will be interesting to see how much more of his rantings end up making sense as the season progresses.
For Hungry Hungry Hipsters -- Haecceity, abandoning deep philosophizing for pure nuttiness, 19:40:58 12/03/02 Tue

There's a definite food vibe goin' on 'cross the board tonight, what with the "How to Properly 'Sauce' a Troll" thread (which quickly, explicably, typically turned into a Haiku-fest) and the whole "Scoo-B Snax" ATPoBtVS/AtS Cookbook notion. Don't know if it's the fact that I missed dinner and the pizza guy's 20 minutes late now that's feeding (hee, hee) my enthusiasm for Buffy-related food fancies, but this recipe thing's got potential, I think.

For those of you staring at your screen going, "Quoi?!?"---

This is in response to a bit of whimsy Ponygirl, Alcibiades, cjl and I got into near the end of The Thread That Would Not Die (But Keeps Assuming New Personas In An Andrew-Like Attempt To Imitate The Coolness/Self-Definition Of Spike;) [Which, ironically, died as I was typing this up]
...regarding the idea of a Buffyverse Cookbook, which I'm now thinking could be expanded to be a Life (or Unlife)-Style/Entertaining manual a la Grande Daemon Martha Stewart.

You know, we could have "Oz's Guide to Gatherings, Shindigs and Hootenannies", or "Buffy's Tips for Conning a Patriarch Into the Washing Up". Spike could have a "Food For Love" Section, and how 'bout "Angel's Do's and Don'ts for Family Get-Togethers", the "Don'ts", of course, provided by Connor and Cordy. And what about a tip or two from Lorne on how to be a proper Host?

Here are more recipes I thought of (instead of working) this afternoon:

Gingerbread Witch Onna Stick
Apple Dumpling Gangland (Speaking of Disney references;)
Beer Baddered Co(-e)d
No Place Like Homefries
"Spiral"-cut Ham
"Smashed" Potatoes
Ted's Micro-bionic Pizzas
"Bloody Jell"-o
Espresso Pump-kin Muffins
Un-Life Cereal (A mix of everything in the house. Frowned upon by British Watcher-Types)
Up-Side Down (and Half-way to Happy Land) Cake
Grr-Arugula Salad

And of course there'd have to be sections of types of recipes, i.e. "Bread Things" or "I Only Have Pies For You"

Okay, pizza guy's here, gotta run.

---Haecceity
[> What happened to the onion flower thing? -- Vickie, 21:59:03 12/03/02 Tue

There's even a little gadget you can buy to cut them.
[> [> Got Remodeled Off the Soddin' Menu -- Haecceity, 22:08:23 12/03/02 Tue

No, it's there, just on the second post.
[> Okay-seems you guys prefer me to be more... -- Haecceity, 22:05:55 12/03/02 Tue

...Egg Foo Jung. Got it. Sorry. Must have been on Magick Crack. But just to show I wasn't the only one---

From Ponygirl:
Who *started it* with... BTW "Taboola Rasa" made me think of developing a tabuli rasa, a curiously blank salad. Then continued with..."What about Taramisu? [Which might be even better as TaraMissYou, no? ] And from AtS we could grab the recipe for roast Rough Beast. We could get the fabulous cookbook with the Order from Far Away home delivery service - for those times when you really can't leave the house."

From Alcibiades:
Blood Red Orange "Juice" Smoothies, Weetabix with Red Sauce, Pizza with burning baby fish, Total Bologney sandwich with an electric boost to aid in digestion, and Connor's junk food survivor's pack.

From cjl:
There's always the Scooby Thanksgiving Day Platter With Sham Yams and Roast Chumash Pie.[Which I maintain is of the Four and Twenty Blackbirds variety]

And I, of course, went Crazy-Tangent with:
Hush Puppies, Stake Tartar, Brilliant Bloomin' Onion, Organ Kabobs, Gnarl's Famous "Potato" Skins, Plump Succulent Baby____, One-Two Punch, Mmmm Cookies, Cuppa Tea, Fillet of Soul, Got To Be Blood Pudding, Go Fish! Sticks, Prophecy Grill, Double Meat Tasty Treats, Bad Egg Omelet, Mayor Wilkinson's Crispy Strips, Chocolate Anything...

And these just in---
Willow's Oatmeal Chocolate Chip "Sorry I Made You Blind, Betrothed, Bedeviled" Atonement Cookies. (Or maybe just Willow's "Ease My Pain" Cookies;)

Post-Slayage Non-Fat Frozen Yogurt in Kinks or Vanilla

Adam's Initiative Gumbo (A little of this, a little of that...)

Balthazar's Basting Brine (Ewwwwww)

Numfar's Dance of Almond Joy Bars

Cordelia's Higher Plain Bagels

Anya's Skeezy Cheese Fondue

Principal Appetizers, in Flutie-Flavor or Snyder-Spiced

Help! Can't stop this crazy whirligig of pun-they just keep coming and coming! Maybe it's better that you guys don't involve yourselves in what is obviously my own little "unraveling in the basement" moment.

---Haecceity
Signing off to go read metaphysics and ignore the evil little voice whispering "Go on, say it...suckotash. Bwahahaha."
[> [> #:o} Happy Meal (no spoilage I hope) -- cougar, 22:14:31 12/03/02 Tue

I always like to have von or two Franz Fries myself, made only with Jung potatos.
[> [> [> Hee hee hee giggles crazy kitchen basement girl -- That would be me, Haecceity, 22:24:03 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> Almost Forgot! In Honor of Bob--"Troll en Flambe" (sp?) -- Haecceity, 22:15:34 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> de-boned I hope -- cougar, 22:19:14 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> Of Course--Thanks to Sophomorica -- Haecceity, 22:26:04 12/03/02 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> Always happy to help :) -- Sophomorica, chewing on the last troll bone, 06:34:44 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> A little food revisionism... -- alcibiades, 11:01:41 12/04/02 Wed

I'm changing this:

Total Bologney sandwich with an electric boost to aid
in digestion

to Fred's shockingly good Total Bologney sandwich.
[> [> [> Sweet's Griddled Scooby Snacks -- alcibiades, 12:35:59 12/04/02 Wed

[> And from the Season 6 cookbook.... -- cjl, 10:44:07 12/04/02 Wed

Jonathan's "Repeat-o-vision" Mexican Chili
Amy Madison's "Herb"-Seasoned Cheese Crackers
Blin(tz)visibles
"Future Xander" Skillet Dishes

and...

(wait for it)

Warren Mears Flambe
[> [> last time I tried that menu Highlight, it Freud my brain. -- cougar, 10:50:10 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> Washing it all down with Chateau D'awn 2002 "Mother's Milk is Red" W(h)ine.... -- cjl, 10:51:38 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> Okay, not to "squash" anyone else, but I think "Blin(tz)visibles" might be my favourite! -- Haecceity, 22:02:45 12/04/02 Wed

[> Aww, Masq! That was so "Sweet" of you! And I didn't even have to Wine -- Haecceity, 13:57:56 12/04/02 Wed

Though now that my blood sugar's up a little, I can't quite beleive I actually posted this! Kind of like when you say something Anya out loud and your inner Xander squashes you with a sarcastic remark.

---Haecceity

Yet I can't quite help yelling out "Angel Investigations' Oedipal Chex Mix, for crying out loud!"
[> [> I'll take a Merlot, please -- Masq, 14:07:23 12/04/02 Wed

And a handful of that Chex Mix!
[> [> [> Coming Right Up. Would you like a... -- Haecceity, 14:20:42 12/04/02 Wed

...slice of Angel Dude Cake to go with that?

---Haecceity

(Yep that one was bad, I could feel it even as I said it, but I'm at work and brain-fried)
[> [> [> [> Re: Coming Right Up. Would you like a... -- Angela, 16:57:05 12/04/02 Wed

That's my choice too...enticing cherry-berry flavor with a hint of vanilla, toasty oak-spice and a smooth, elegant finish. Angel might require something a little heavier tho'.

And it's good to be bad sometimes!
[> [> [> [> [> And to go along with that Oepidal Chex Mix how about... -- alcibiades, 19:49:59 12/04/02 Wed

A Sonfully Good Pint of the Red Stuff?
[> [> [> [> [> [> You're Diabolical. But in the best way :) -- Haecceity, 21:40:29 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> [> I don't drink...wine....and have put the brakes on the Oedipal Chex Mix..First Virtue here. -- Rufus, 00:41:22 12/05/02 Thu

[> [> [> [> I thought it was just vampires that didn't drink wine -- Sophie, 14:47:31 12/05/02 Thu

[> [> Ok, I'm changing the name of this thread to Four Hungry Hipsters... -- Haecceity, 14:14:53 12/04/02 Wed

...'cause obviously there are only 4 of us sick enough to keep coming back!
[> [> [> Don't apologize, Haecceity. We need the silly every once in a while. -- cjl, 14:32:19 12/04/02 Wed

When I started out on this board, I used to be sooooo serious. I did the mind-bogglingly long essays, inviting serious commentary with bibliography. Lemme tell you something: it's exhausting. When I got finished with my Dawn post--four parts, and maybe 20 single-spaced pages on my computer--I was burned out for awhile. I couldn't have put together a serious thought on Buffy or Angel if you paid me.

So, I started doing my little playlets, and I got known for bringing the funny--and now I'm getting a bored with that, too. I'm working on an Angel essay that makes my Dawn post look like a footnote. (Flee! Flee for your lives!)

I suppose what I mean to say is--you need a balance between the funny and the serious in your life, and if you want to survive long-term posting on this board with your sanity intact. Don't be embarrassed by the silliness of this thread. It's just as much a part of you as your philosophical musings.
[> [> [> [> Re: Don't apologize, Haecceity. We need the silly every once in a while. -- cougar, 14:54:37 12/04/02 Wed

Yes! Forget order, play with the mouse a little, makes you a cool cat.
[> [> [> [> [> Thanks. Though I'm beginning to worry 'bout you, cougar -- Haecceity, 22:09:54 12/04/02 Wed

Did the library search for all things von Franz fuse with your hunger drive? I love, love love that all your recipies are psych!

Perhaps you'd enjoy a Howard Gardner salad with that Pavlov's Bell Pepper :)

---Haecceity
[> [> [> [> [> [> Just came in from a prowl.. -- cougar, 00:26:53 12/05/02 Thu

Sure, I could go for a Selig,man. Ok this Hip Cat better brush her teeth.

Falling now...
[> [> [> [> Re: Don't apologize, Haecceity. We need the silly every once in a while. -- Haecceity, 21:59:38 12/04/02 Wed

Oh good, 'cause I'm total crap at apologizing!

Though honestly, this bit of whimsy *was* designed to be a bit of a balancing act.

I've got a lifelong balance issue between pedantic and goofball--seems folks either think I'm a Miss Smartypants or total Giggle Girl, never both at once, and in a cyberpsych space such as this I thought perhaps I should make an effort to try out a little half and half-ness.

You're so right about the exhausting bit, though! Especially when a lot of folks respond at once and you want to fully think through their insights and answer in a way that honors their efforts/wisdom. I think that might be why I spent so long lurking--I couldn't really decide when and where and how to jump in, and of course had to gauge my ability to be a recognizable part of the community while juggling work, friends, the need for sleep--you know, that wacky thing called life. Things are a bit easier now that I've got accepted to grad school--means work doesn't rank as high in my emotional investment area any longer, so I feel much freer to read/post covertly while on the job!:)

Where's this Dawn essay? I'd love to read it. I do know the playlets and adore them, please don't stop them now. Although if it means we get the
Super-Evil Commentary on AtS Season 4 up to "Spin the Bottle" -- Honorificus (The Deranged, Depraved, and Delightful), 22:44:05 12/03/02 Tue

We open the season with Angel in a box under the sea, Fred and Gunn keeping Daddy's Little Demon (aka Connor the Hellspawn) in line, or at least attempting to, Wesley sharing kinky sex and betrayals with Lilah Morgan, keeping Justine in his closet, and looking for his undead ex-boss ex-employee ex-friend in his spare time, and Cordelia bored on a higher plane while Lorne croons in Vegas. Some of this situation changes rapidly: Wesley dredges Angel up from the bay and restores him to his erstwhile colleagues and wayward son. Daddy isn't happy with the Little Demon (and neither is Fred, the Mistress of Pain) and gives him a pompous speech, the thrust of which is that the Hellspawn is ejected from home until he learns to Play Nice.

Then, of course, Daddy needs to find his Cordy and sets about kissing up to Wesley to do so. Disappointingly, Wesley complies. On a more cheerful note, he sends Angel on a dangerous mission to a demon goddess. Disappointingly again, Angel comes out more or less intact. He and his crew make an inept attempt to steal the Axis of Phallus (I don't remember the precise name, but that's what the thing looked like to me), which disappears into the comely (and electrified) hands of one Gwen, who specializes in catburglary, ruining expensive watches, and wearing slutty clothes. Angel later retrieves the Axis of Phallus by means of a timely rescue and sticking his cold, dead tongue down Gwen's throat. He then comes to the conclusion Cordy is happy where she is, which, judging by said Higher Being's reaction, isn't nearly what she wanted to hear.

So the crew goes off to Vegas to say "Hi" to Lorne and get loaded. Problem is, Lorne's being held captive by a trader in literal futures in between gigs. After much sturm und drang, they recover the Jolly Green Demon and bring him back home, where a confused, memory-impaired Cordelia awaits, dressed in a truly horrific white frock. Meanwhile, Wesley goes down on Lilah.

Connor decides to go check up on Daddy just then and discovers Ol' Glowy Butt is back. Daddy foolishly decides to conceal all paranormal activity from the Ever-Bodacious Cordelia (who is looking considerably more bodacious due to Charisma's pregnancy), which, naturally, sends Ms. Double-D screaming into the night when she discovers said paranormal activity. She lands right in the hormonal arms of the Hormonal Hellspawn, who informs her he tried to kill her and later feels her up while she's asleep. She apparently finds this endearing, as she later rejects Daddy in favor of Sonny. Meanwhile, Wesley has phone sex with Lilah.

Back in Hell Hotel, Fred gets all squeaky when she is given the chance to give a boring lecture to a bunch of even-more-boring people. There are a few exceptions, like Wesley, who blows off Lilah to ogle his crush, Lilah, who's stalking Wesley, and a tentacled monster from a Hell dimension. Oh, and Angel and Gunn also reluctantly attend. Fred discovers it's the work of her old prof, who's also responsible for sending her packing to Pylea. Not unreasonably, she decides he needs to die. Angel and Gunn, being noble types, don't think this is appropriate, so Fred goes to someone more sensible: Wesley. She very nearly succeeds in sending the prof to a Hell dimension, too, when Gunn interferes. Lo and behold, just when I thought I was really going to have to eliminate him, Gunn finally does something interesting: he breaks the prof's neck and tosses him down the portal Fred opened. *Sigh* Isn't it romantic, seeing couples bond over murder and mayhem? Speaking of which, Connor and Cordy are all this time playing out their own version of "Oedipus Rex".

This sends Cordelia and her fabulous bosoms back to the hotel to quiz Angel on their supposed love life. Angel, demonstrating his superior intellect, can't answer that. Fortunately, Lorne has the perfect solution: a spell. 'Cause nothing ever goes wrong with magic, right? This truism is proved when the spell regresses everyone back to their teenage years: Gunn the Attitudinal, Liam the Apparently Irish, Cordelia the Bitch of Sunnydale, Fred the Plugged-In and Tuned-Out, and Wesley the Head Boy. Hijinks and dirty double entendres ensue, culminating in several attempts on Angel's unlife. Connor, meanwhile, discovers his hormones and tries to kill Daddy in an attempt to get into Queen C's silk undies. Before either of these things can be consummated, Lorne persuades Fred, who hasn't gotten her RDA of pot, to Give Demons A Chance, and all memories are returned. Including Cordelia's memories of a fairly impressive-looking demon. We end with Angel in a first-class brood.

So, what have we learned? Let's examine the fashions:

Bad, except on Lilah.

All right. Now that that's taken care of, we'll move on to the fairly complex love lives of all these critters. One needs a refresher course in geometry just to keep track of all the triangles. To wit:

Angel/Cordelia/Connor: or, Oedipus in Hell. Father and son both have a major jones for Cordelia of the Cleavage. Things look distinctly un-promising for the father, and as for the son . . . well. Let's just say, I've heard things. We'll not discuss that.

Wesley/Fred/Gunn: or, The Yellow Rose of Texas Among Thorns. Fred's been in a happy relationship with Gunn, which got turned on its ear due to a mutual falling-off-of-pedestals in "Supersymmetry". Meanwhile, the tension between the whole group and Wesley has turned him into The Forbidden Fruit, which always ups chemistry. Gunn's all for an Alpha Male Smackdown, which Wesley might even oblige him with--if, that is, he could stop shagging Lilah long enough to think about it.

Fred/Wesley/Lilah: or, Watch Your Head, Fred. Hell hath no fury like an evil bitch scorned, and Lilah seems to be feeling distinctly scorned of late. Fred's relationship with Gunn has destabilized, leaving her open to the darker charms of Wesley. Wesley's shtupping Lilah, but he's also jonesing for Fred.

Lorne/everybody else: or, It's Not Easy Being Green. Poor cupcake. We're sure someone will eventually return his affections.

Potential for Evil:

Gunn: will break necks for Fred. Not a bad start.

Fred: will cast professors she doesn't like into Hell dimensions, going behind her lover and her friend's backs to do so. Again, not bad. These two could start to grow on me.

Wesley: shtupping Lilah, helping Fred wreak vengeance, threatening Gunn with knives--come on, Wesley, just one more step, and you're there! The Dark Side! Join us, Wesley!

Angel: always a risky proposition, but if Sonny Boy keeps after his woman, the chances of seeing Angelus get higher.

Cordelia: almost a total unknown at this point. She was a higher being, but she apparently did *something* to snick the Powers, and now she's human, messing around with Angel's son, and seeing Evil Things. I do wonder if she can be pushed.

Connor: 18 years old and good at it. The son of two of the darkest, most depraved vampires ever to walk beneath the moon. Hormones spilling out his ears and all over his father's woman. Serious Daddy Issues. Angry at this whole world (and several others besides). All the tot needs is a little nudge in the wrong direction.

Lorne: just needs to crush on someone more worthy. Get over the good guys, crumbcake!

Overall, I'd say this is a very promising season. So many messy lust-and-love stories, a Big Bad on the way, and father/son issues ready to explode. Yes, my fiends, I do look forward to seeing the carnage that will be strewn all over my screen!
[> Spoilers up to AtS 4.6 above. Just thought I'd tell ya. -- HonorH (the nice one), 22:52:07 12/03/02 Tue

[> Glad to see you've joined us on the AtS darkside, Honorificus -- The First Evil, 06:37:53 12/04/02 Wed

Evil law firms, hormonal angst, a family that Always has issues, and absolutely no namby-pamby vampires runnng around saying "I've got no soul, but I'm a good guy!"

Lots more for an evil thing to love...
[> Honorificus, would you consider visiting our shrine to Angelus? -- The Unclean, 06:56:23 12/04/02 Wed

The Heresiarchs of Belial have erected a shrine to the great Bringer of Darkness, Angelus, and have prayed night and...well, later in the night...in the hopes that one day he would throw off his human soul and fulfill his true destiny.

It's about a 45 minute drive through extra-dimensional traffic, around the corner from the local McDonalds. (Of course we have a McDonalds. What self-respecting hell dimension doesn't?) They usually ask for a contribution at the door (a small Groblett demon is preferred), but in your case, I think they'll make an exception.

You'll love it. They have Angelus' kiss-off scene with the Slayer from Innocence and Jenny Calendar's spectacular demise on constant DVD rotation, and a patch of his original leather pants on the altar. Bring as many minions as you like--we'll make it a party...
[> [> Honey, I don't visit shrines. I *have* them. -- Honorificus (The Ever-Worshipful One), 22:06:38 12/04/02 Wed

I know exactly the shrine you're speaking of. If you'll take a ten-minute walk down the street, you'll find one of mine. It's right next to Banes & Ignoble Booksellers and overlooks the Gardens of Human Suffering (I'm sure you've been there). Prada shoes, by the by, are *my* preferred offering (though jewelry will do). See you there, sweetie.
[> Preserving this thread for all humankind -- Masq, 10:31:12 12/04/02 Wed

That they might, too, know of its Glory.
[> [> You are truly an exceptional human being, Masq. -- Honorificus (She Who Shines Brighter than a Thousand Suns), 10:43:56 12/04/02 Wed

Might you have some demon blood, dearie? There are few humans indeed who could do battle with the devastating Voynak and come out unscathed. That you would do so to rescue my thread shows that you are of rare character and insight. My compliments, O Potentially-Evil One.
[> [> [> Demon blood? Hey, I'm the First Evil, Dearie! -- Masq, 11:15:43 12/04/02 Wed

Aint no Alter-egoness about it, either. : )
[> Your best yet...but where's the no holds barred fashion review? -- sundog, 19:08:03 12/04/02 Wed

Agree only Lilah looked good even when she was pretending to be Fred.

Fred - the frump from hell? Or did she buy those clothes at sears?

Cordy - at least her hairs brunette again. But honey, white is sooo not your color.

Wes - yes, keep the dark unshaven look and get rid of the specs. Also much prefer the dressed down casual look.

Gunn - can anyone remember what he wears?? Do like the lack of hair though, man has a nice skull. Makes me want to eat it.

Angel - same old same old. Nice leather though.

Now see...this is what happens when you don't do the fashion review.

Loved the rest though! And agree on all of it!
[> [> Very well. Here are my thoughts on the fashions: -- Honorificus (The Sartorially-Enhanced One), 19:49:10 12/04/02 Wed

Lilah: not a single misstep. She's an evil bitch right down to her skivvies--and out of them, too. I simply love her spike heels. A proper look for any lawyer/dominatrix. Nicely understated, yet obviously expensive jewelry, updated Veronica Lake hair, man-killer red lipstick--she's accessorized to the hilt and beyond.

Wesley: greatly improved since he left the Good Guys for the vast wasteland of moral ambiguity. I must say I like his new accessories--the well-outfitted demon hunter. His return to the Watcherly look for "Spin the Bottle" was singularly unfortunate, but otherwise, he's looking good. Love the scruff. Generally, scruff doesn't do it for me, but on Wesley, it has a nice "screw the world" air to it.

Gunn: No, I don't remember what he wears. I'm opposed to soul patches on general principal, but his actually isn't that bad. They should keep him shirtless, however. Yes. Boxers and nothing else. The man has a *yummy* body. Why haven't we seen it before?

Fred: Must I?

Angel: Same old, same old. *Yawn!*

Cordy: What, since she grew a bust and hips, they've decided to dress her in Tara's leftover clothes? The curvaceous form has so many fashion possibilities, yet they frump her down and put her in frankly unflattering . . . well, everything. As for the hair, the cut is forgivable, the color is not. Darken the hair, play up that magnificent bustline, and camoflage the bump in her middle.

Connor: Let's just say you can tell that he grew up in a Hell dimension.

Lorne: The only being in this dimension or any other that could actually get away with his wardrobe.

Happy now?
[> [> [> Agree 100% on Lilah...She's got style...and evil..dripping out of her pores! -- RobAndMurder, 20:33:29 12/04/02 Wed

[> [> [> "Let's just say you can tell that he grew up in a Hell dimension" -- Masq, 20:37:44 12/04/02 Wed

If you're gonna say that about him, you're gonna have to say that about every grunge-wannabe teen. Connor looks like a kid who only wants us to think he's homeless because his dad kicked him out.
[> [> [> [> Well, technically, high school *is* a hell dimension. -- Honorificus (The Exacting One), 21:20:49 12/04/02 Wed

Most people don't know it, and it doesn't happen all at once, but all that hormonal energy gradually shifts all high schools into another dimension. The buildings become mere facades, the doors dimensional portals, and the teachers take on demon characteristics--if they want to survive, that is. Happens to middle schools, too. Only faster.

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