January 2004 posts
Some
impressions of the comic "Tales of the Vampires" spoilers
for issue one. -- Rufus, 02:32:33 01/01/04 Thu
What Tales of the Slayer did for the history of Slayers, Tales
of the Vampire does for vampires. Just as Slayers have a background,
personality, a reason for being, so do vampires. I've just read
issue one of a 4 part series "Tales of the Vampires"
and we get to see life or unlife from the perspective of the demonic.
The opening is written by Joss Whedon. We start in darkness and
the chatter of what is revealed to be children. These are future
Watchers on a "field trip" to some dungeon where they
file in to be told vampire tales from a chained up monster. He
says "Well, Dunworthy. It must be time again....to
Suffer the Little Children...to come unto me." He
is asked if he will tell his story to which he replies
"First you must hear of others. Begin to understand
that we are as complex - more, in fact, than you humans yourselves.
We are monsters, you see. Not animals. And every one of our...lives...is
different. Those who came before me, those yet to come. We all
have our stories"
The first story is about Spike and Drusilla in Prague. How we
end up with a Dru who is has as Spike would say "a bit of
a child in her". It's called "The Problem with Vampires"
and is written by Drew Goddard.
Spike finds himself with a bit of wood in him, not enough to make
the dust, he has to drift to consciousness to realize he has lost
his "girlfriend". Someone has found her, found Drusilla
and has decided to engage in a bit of torture. Monsters come in
all forms and humans at times fit the bill. This one has the style
of Holtz from Angel. "I need you to hurt, and I need
you to remember." says Mr. Creepy. All I can say
is that if this one offers you a seat...decline that unkind gesture.
Spike sets out to find his Drusilla and we see that he is a monster,
you know the kind they make monster movies out of....and so is
she.
"Pain is your nature, you hunger for it. You live to
inflict it. It feeds your existence. It is the only thing you
truly fear...and so to communicate with you, I have to speak in
terms you understand. I have to speak in terms of pain."
Mr. Torture Chamber must have been head boy at the same joint
that sired Holtz. In fighting monsters he has become what he fights
and I guess to a war between demons and humans he is seen as a
necessary evil.
The end of the tale is the hint of a trip to the Coast....West
Coast.
The second story is from Joss Whedon "Stacy" where an
isolated, misunderstood girl finds that she has become the chosen
one, and I don't mean Slayer. This girl longs for the real thing....magic.
Stacy dreams of a world like Lord of the Rings....
"The thought of being and Elf, a truly magical being,
more beautiful and graceful...or even a Hobbit. I could skip the
hairy feet, but they have such peace such kindness, they transcend.
I wanted to live in that light, to battle with that Darkness --
Instead of battling with Jason trying to feel me up after half
a tab of X. I wanted to battle Orcs. Orcs, Man, they freaked me
out. They were like this force, this horrible mindless wave of
evil. Imagine facing that? Just you your quiver and bow, against
that endless mob?"
It's a party that changes this girl's point of view about who
she is, what she wants....she isn't missed.
"Two days dead in the bushes and nobody in Brenda's
stupid house found me. Let's not even get into that. I can SEE
everything, and there isn't a light on anywhere near. Mostly,
though, I can feel, inside me, you know what I feel? Connection.
That's what I never got. None of you get it either, cause it's
not something humans ever have. They don't connect......But now,
I AM connected. To everyone else like me. And there's millions.
We're Legion...We're the Other....We're Orcs....They weren't mindless
-- they understood perfectly, the feeling. Unity. Purpose. Evil.
Yeah, I know I'm evil, and I know I'm dead, but I'm something
else too. I'm magic."
Tales of the Vampire has promise to be a great read. It makes
me think of Jesse in Welcome to the Hellmouth and his reaction
to becoming a vampire, and to Spike who thought his life only
began when he died. Each side evil, good have a point of view,
a purpose, and both feel they are right. It's a war out there
and who knows who or what will win. I can't wait to read more.
Replies:
[> Dang -- Pony, 21:08:24 01/01/04 Thu
I was trying to be all frugal and wait until Tales was collected
in a trade paperback but your description is making me think I
should just give in and start buying. Comic books are worse than
crack I tells ya.
[> Thanks, Ruf...I just bought a copy thanks to your recommendation!
-- Rob, 11:06:04 01/02/04 Fri
[> [> I hope it doesn't..... -- Rufus, 03:09:51
01/03/04 Sat
take as long as Fray did for the series to finish...;)
[> [> [> I hope it doesn't too though I would still
wait for it -- deeva, 08:46:13 01/03/04 Sat
bu still hope it doesn't take that long to finish up.
The Upcoming Year for Joss,
Mutant Enemy and Friends -- cjl (gazing into his crystal ball),
22:34:03 01/01/04 Thu
January 15 - Joss officially announces he's signed a two-year
contract with Marvel to write New X-Men. He says he'll have no
problem squeezing it into his schedule.
January 23 - Universal green lights Firefly.
February 11 - Angel's 100th episode draws a 5.2 Nielsen rating.
Joss is ecstatic, and tells reporters the uptick proves that the
fans are behind the new direction for the series. When asked if
a specific, one-time only factor might have influenced the ratings,
Joss looks confused.
February 21 - Venetian Heat is back on; James Marsters prepares
to leave for Italy during the spring break in ANGEL shooting.
February 27 - "Scooby Doo 2" opens, earns $27 million
at the box office during the first week--then nosedives.
March 4 - Alyson Hannigan and Luke Perry take London's West End
by storm in the stage version of "When Harry Met Sally."
Alexis Denisof flies over to support Aly, and roars with laughter
at the "fake orgasm" scene. Then, after thinking about
it for a moment, he noticeably stops laughing.
March 7 - Wonderfalls is postponed indefinitely.
March 12 - Anthony Stewart Head guest stars as Tru Davies' father
in Tru Calling. Ratings drop below 3.0. Fox immediately renews
Tru Calling for a second season. Police report an inhumanly loud
shriek of frustration coming from Tim Minear's house in Northern
California.
March 20 - Venetian Heat is back off.
April 7 - Preproduction starts on "Firefly: The Movie."
Universal execs are delighted with the script, but make some minor
suggestions about the new sets. Joss says, "No problem."
April 14 - Joss falls one month behind on New X-Men.
April 27 - Jordan Levin, president of the WB, renews the Jamie
Kennedy Experiment, Run of the House, and Grounded for Life, calling
them "integral parts of the WB family." At a WB affiliates
meeting, Levin promises a new slate of exciting new dramas for
the 2004-2005 season.
April 28 - Jordan Levin apologizes to Joss, claiming that Joss'
invitation to the WB affiliates meeting got "lost in the
mail."
May 9 - Fresh from her London run, Alyson Hannigan films her pilot
("Aly!") for NBC, a half-hour sitcom about a single
girl trying to find love and happiness in New York City. Nicholas
Brendon has a cameo as her ex-boyfriend. Joss and Amber Benson
applaud from backstage. Charisma Carpenter is spotted in the audience,
angrily scarfing down an entire bag of mallomars.
May 19 - In the spectacular, heartbreaking fifth season finale
of ANGEL (written by Joss, Minear and Stephen DeKnight and directed
by David Boreanaz), Angel sacrifices himself to save the Fang
Gang and Connor by switching the mindwipe to erase all memory
of his own existence. Unfortunately, the mindwipe carries over
to real life, as the WB forgets to renew the series.
May 27 - Thousands of outraged e-mails and postcards flood the
WB mailroom. Jordan Levin responds to the fan furor by calling
ANGEL "a testament to Joss Whedon's genius, and a mark of
honor for our network."
June 1 - The WB officially cancels ANGEL.
June 19 - The cast reports to the set of "Firefly: The Movie."
Universal execs are delighted by the initial footage, but wonder
if Ron Glass is "too old" to play Shepherd Book. Joss
has no comment.
July 7 - Joss falls two months behind on New X-Men. Uncanny X-Men
co-creators Chris Claremont and John Byrne are arrested after
a knockdown, drag-out brawl at a restaurant in Manhattan. Marvel
editor-in-chief Joe Quesada's calm, dispassionate assessment of
the situation: "I'm screwed."
July 13 - In an interview with People magazine, Sarah Michelle
Gellar says she doesn't understand why Joss never invited her
back to ANGEL.
July 23 - All six of the WB's new dramas for the fall 2004 season
elicit near universal hostility from test audiences. (One of the
more favorable responses: "I will come to Los Angeles and
burn your offices to the ground if you put this crap on the air.")
Jordan Levin tells Variety he "may have to rethink the fall
lineup."
August 16 - Stephen Collins quits Seventh Heaven, citing "nervous
exhaustion."
August 17 - The WB returns Joss' phone calls for the first time
in two months.
August 29 - The WB agrees to renew ANGEL under the following conditions:
1) Fox and Mutant Enemy have to cut the budget $250,000 per episode;
2) Charisma Carpenter has to rejoin the cast; and 3) James Marsters
must appear naked at least twice during the first half of the
season.
September 3 - Fox and Mutant Enemy agree to reassemble the cast
and resume production of ANGEL under the following conditions:
1) The WB pays an extra $250,000 a season for the series; James
Marsters no longer has to dye his hair; and 3) Jordan Levin has
to quack like a duck over the closing credits of the season premiere.
September 7 - The WB agrees to all three conditions; ANGEL is
back for Season 6.
September 18 - "Aly!" is given a much-coveted time slot,
Thursdays at 8:30 p.m, after the Friends spinoff, "Joey!"
September 29 - SMG agrees to appear on ANGEL during November sweeps.
October 2 - Joss falls four months behind on New X-Men.
October 14 - ANGEL Season Six debuts; ratings are the highest
ever for a season opener. "Aly!" debuts on NBC, but
loses 66% of the audience from its lead-in.
October 25 - Alexis Denisof is signed to play Reed Richards in
the upcoming Fantastic Four movie.
October 30 - Universal execs see the first cut of the Firefly
movie, and ask Joss to "punch it up." Joss says he'll
"see what he can do."
November 5 - "Aly!" is cancelled.
November 12 - Joss falls five months behind on New X-Men.
November 17 & 24 - A mindwiped Buffy meets Angel (who is once
again a P.I. working out of a seedy office in downtown Los Angeles),
giving false hope to thousands of die-hard B/A
shippers. The B/A/S triangle is revisited with a new twist, but--of
course--Buffy leaves without resolving anything. Ratings go through
the roof.
December 1 - A depressed Alyson Hannigan hangs around the ANGEL
set for days at a time, sobbing into David Fury's lap, and constantly
updating Alexis on merchandising deals and sequel rights for his
upcoming movie. Some of the newer crew members start to call her
"Yoko."
December 15 - Tru Calling's rating dip to 2.0. Fox renews it for
the rest of the season.
December 27 - Universal re-cuts the Firefly movie, despite a contract
guaranteeing Joss "final cut." Joss and Terry Gilliam
raid Universal's main offices in Los Angeles and hold the entire
board of directors hostage.
Replies:
[> Are you sure about that? -- Giles, 00:58:39 01/02/04
Fri
I know in my heart of hearts that alys show will do fantastic...
(suddenly thinks back to when he said the exact same thing about
tru calling).... Well at least we always have the btvs 10 yr reunion
which will be punctured only be SMGs unwillingness to come
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- punkinpuss, 02:58:07 01/02/04 Fri
Alexis Denisof flies over to support Aly, and roars with laughter
at the "fake orgasm" scene. Then, after thinking about
it for a moment, he noticeably stops laughing.
Oh, you are a cruel, cruel man! But funny.
Thanks for so many chuckles!
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- CW, 07:26:33 01/02/04 Fri
Further in a desperate attempt to raise ratings on the WB, Kristin
Kreuk, will be turned into a vampire with a soul (don't even ask
how) on Smallville. George Clooney will replace Stephen Collins
as the Reverend on Seveth Heaven and deliver all of his sermons
with no shirt on.
AH will eventually find a home on "Joey!" After a spectacular
rise in ratings for her first guest appearance, her character
Maple Rosenberg (Willow's long lost twin sister) will become a
regular. After ten years and several children by Joey, Maple will
marry whatever hunk comes along. Joey will finally discover he
is gay and marry Ross in a surpirse series finale. In no surprise,
before the last ep ends, Joey and Ross will start talking about
getting divorced.
[> Brilliant! -- Rob, 11:03:39 01/02/04 Fri
Charisma Carpenter is spotted in the audience, angrily scarfing
down an entire bag of mallomars.
ROFLMAO!!
Rob
[> Yeah, but you forgot the most important thing...
-- Masq, 12:58:53 01/02/04 Fri
Does Connor return to the show?
[> [> Well, if you insist... -- cjl, 09:07:10
01/03/04 Sat
Season Six, Episode 1
THE CAST:
ANGEL - David Boreanaz (P.I. once more; see calendar above)
SPIKE - James Marsters (after Angel is eliminated from existence,
Spike is now the VoP--vampire of prophecy)
FRED - Amy Acker (tougher and all business--Knox went evil, and
she's avoiding romantic subplots like the plague)
GUNN - J. August Richards (Gunn and Spike are like Batman and
Robin--although they're always arguing which one is which)
LORNE - Andy Hallett (now adjusted to his W&H job, but has the
nagging feeling something is "wrong" with the universe)
WESLEY WYNDAM-PRYCE - Alexis Denisof (Wesley is CEO of Wolfram
and Hart and back together with Lilah--see below)
GUEST STARS:
LINDSEY MacDONALD - Christian Kane (back at W&H full-time--but
how?)
LILAH MORGAN - Stephanie Romanov (not dead and back at W&H full-time--but
how?)
HOLLAND MANNERS - Sam Anderson (ditto)
SPECIAL GUEST STAR:
CONNOR - Vincent Kartheiser (W&H intern--and yes, Masq, he's contracted
for at least eight episodes)
I have a vague idea of a season-long arc, but since I created
this whole thing entirely for satirical purposes, I'm not going
to waste your time...
[> [> [> Yeah, well, if you did... -- Masq, 12:21:55
01/03/04 Sat
I have a vague idea of a season-long arc, but since I created
this whole thing entirely for satirical purposes, I'm not going
to waste your time...
If you did,it'd be fan-fic, and I don't *do* fan fic!
But thanks for indulging me!
[> [> [> On the Subject Of Batman And Robin....
-- Giles, 18:20:39 01/03/04 Sat
If Spike and Gunn Are Batman/Robin, are they the B/R With Chris
O'Donnell and George Clooney or the B/R With Burt Ward, Adam West,
and millions of homosexual subtext?
[> [> [> [> Why don't we go with Ward and West
and think of the possibilities! (Hmm...) -- DorianQ, 22:22:03
01/03/04 Sat
[> [> [> [> [> But Gunn isnt like either of
them, Here is how i see it -- Giles, 17:05:42 01/04/04
Sun
I see Angel as being Like Ward, Angel Like West, and harmony like
the aunt they added to the old show to try and ease up on the
homosexual subtext
[> [> [> [> You mean O'Donnell and Clooney DIDN'T
have homosexual subtext? -- cjl, 17:17:41 01/04/04 Sun
Then what was the whole thing with the latex nipples all about?
[> [> [> [> [> Subtext?!?! Not blatant homoerotic
imagery? -- Nino, 18:26:38 01/04/04 Sun
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- angel's nibblet, 14:05:51 01/02/04 Fri
December 27 - Universal re-cuts the Firefly movie, despite
a contract guaranteeing Joss "final cut." Joss and Terry
Gilliam raid Universal's main offices in Los Angeles and hold
the entire board of directors hostage.
hahahaha classic
you've forgotten one.....
August 20: it is finally announced that James Marsters IS in fact
a vampire with a soul and his real age is therefore 141 :-p
Hehe, nasty nibblet, shouldn't say such things...
[> LOL! And looky you got a link on whedonesque.com
-- Pony, 15:22:21 01/02/04 Fri
[> [> Cool! (But it must've been a slow news day....)
-- cjl, 20:34:42 01/02/04 Fri
[> [> Yeah, cjl! -- Masq, 08:55:49 01/03/04 Sat
And happy, happy free publicity for the board!
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- J. Welch, 15:24:55 01/02/04 Fri
It could happen.
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- pellenaka, 16:27:44 01/02/04 Fri
September 3 - Fox and Mutant Enemy agree to reassemble the
cast and resume production of ANGEL under the following conditions:
1) The WB pays an extra $250,000 a season for the series; James
Marsters no longer has to dye his hair; and 3) Jordan Levin has
to quack like a duck over the closing credits of the season premiere.
Ha!
Great job!
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- Stephanie,
02:43:33 01/03/04 Sat
I just wanted to say,that THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING THAT I HAVE
READ IN A LONG TIME!!! WOW!! Part of what mekes it so funny is
that 87% will prove to be true (I have my sources). I LOVE whoever
posted this message!!! Hey,If you are reading this,whoever you
are,e-mail me!! YOU ARE GENIOUS!! :)
[> You forgot an easy one -- SKPE, 07:56:36 01/03/04
Sat
aug 'One again no ME show is nominated for an Emmy'
[> [> True. But that one's a given...and it's never been
funny. -- cjl, 08:50:44 01/03/04 Sat
[> I love you! -- Stephanie,
13:40:24 01/03/04 Sat
Oh...you are just so genious!
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- Tydestra, 19:57:44 01/03/04 Sat
Oh Gods that is priceless!
[> Re: The Upcoming Year for Joss, Mutant Enemy and Friends
-- Marginal Drifter, 07:37:19 01/05/04 Mon
(Gasping for air) Oh dear god, it's funny because it's so painfully
true.
A Question about Angel drinking
demon blood? -- scythe, 14:22:41 01/02/04 Fri
The Scourge leader said vampires don't drink demon blood like
Doyle but slayers are technically like demon hybrids not biogically
in nature only mystically. He also for awhile in pylea feed off
demon guard. Connor's blood too had a affect on him and he was
a special half-demon.
Replies:
[> Re: A Question about Angel drinking demon blood?
-- Ronia, 15:33:49 01/02/04 Fri
Hmmm...I'll take a stab at this one. I'm not entirely certain
what your question is..so the question I will try to answer is
this "Why has Angel drunk, or been affected by drinking blood
from mystically enhanced humans, and also from demons in an alternate
dimension?" The first one is easy...Buffy and Connor are
in fact that, mystically enhanced *humans* and not demon hybrids
as far as we know. As for the guard in Pylea..this was an alternate
dimension and the rules that the scourge leader referenced did
not apply, as many others also did not [sunlight, mirrors, control
of and potency of his demon]. So, that's my 0.02 any other ideas?
[> [> a question never answered is -- Seven, 07:30:58
01/03/04 Sat
In (I Think) the first Faith episode last season, Lorne had the
"no demon violence" spell working and it prevented Conner
from hurting Angelus. That led us to assume that Conner had demon
physiology(sp?). The scene was never developed any further, so
we never really got a definative answer. BUT, if we are to assume
that Conner is/was a demon hybrid, what are the distinctions from
human blood?
[> [> [> Ooooh, you got me there... -- Ronia,
09:17:09 01/03/04 Sat
The only possibility that I can come up with [besides that an
inconsistency slipped by Joss and Co. and you caught it]is that
the scourge leader was overly general in his statement. What we
have seen of vampires is that they drink the blood of humans [their
former species] and they drink the blood of each other. As far
as I have seen, Buffy still qualifies as a mystically enhanced
human, she did not actually physically become a demon, and we
do not know the origen of the mystical enhancement. It is likely
though, considering that she needed strength/skill specifically
to hunt vampires, that the source of her strength and that of
vampires are closely related and so her blood would qualify on
both counts [the idea that Buffy shares a power source with vampires
seemed to me to be backed up in Buffy vs Dracula]. Connor is human,
Wes goes out of his way to tell the audience that during the sonogram
[is it lullabye?]. He is mystically conceived and his entire existence
is unnatural. Vampires do not reproduce in this manner, and what
they reproduced is not of their species. What is more likely is
that vampires contain the gene code and whatever other scientific
*stuff* goes into making a human. Connor is clearly not a vampire,
he has no vampire traits aside from strength/agility, and enhanced
healing, but his power clearly comes from this source. To me this
suggests that Connor is some sort of male version of a slayer
[but without the mystical calling [the deity who claims resposibility
has another agenda]. So that's what I come up with. I wish I could
test that theory..would, for example..Willow be able to commit
acts of violence in caritas? Or Buffy? My theory is pure speculation
without either something being displayed on screen to confirm
or dispute it, or the writers explicitly saying one way or the
other.
[> [> [> [> Re: Ooooh, you got me there...
-- sdev, 15:04:40 01/03/04 Sat
we do not know the origen of the mystical enhancement. It is
likely though, considering that she needed strength/skill specifically
to hunt vampires, that the source of her strength and that of
vampires are closely related and so her blood would qualify on
both counts [the idea that Buffy shares a power source with vampires
seemed to me to be backed up in Buffy vs Dracula].
What about S7 Get it Done? I thought that episode definitively
clarified that the source of the Slayer "mystical enhancement"
was Demon effusion of a black misty type.
[> [> [> [> [> I'd agree with that -- Ronia,
15:33:10 01/03/04 Sat
...but the specifics are vague..do we know of any black misty
type demons with slayer qualities? If I am remembering Get it
Done correctly..the "watchers" [and, yes, I use the
term loosely here] do not have an actual corporeal demon present.
Instead it looked to me like they had somehow summoned the essence
of some demon and were attempting to inject Buffy with some of
it's qualities. If we do not know the origen of the essence and
we do know that it is specifically a countermeasure against vampires..it
remains a possibility for me that the essence was vampire related.
[> [> [> [> Odds are Connor's demon is the same
kind vampires have -- Finn Mac Cool, 21:41:05 01/03/04
Sat
Considering that his two parents were vampires, that makes the
most sense. And we've seen that vampires are affected by the sanctuary
spell, even though their physical bodies are those of (dead) humans.
As such, I see no inconsistency, since Conner is, as near as I
can tell, the living version of a souled vampire.
In regards to Buffy, we know at the purely physical level she's
human, since Spike's chip wouldn't let him hurt her. However,
the sanctuary spell apparently reads beings on more than a physical
level, since vampires, who have the biology of human beings, are
affected. This leaves it iffy whether Slayers are capable of violence
under the sanctuary spell.
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